How To Get Along With People
Get you a cup of coffee and enjoy some moments with your pastor that loves you and desires for us to growth deeper and wider spiritually.
Proverbs 13:10 - "ONLY by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom."
A basic root cause for ALL strife and contention between two people is PRIDE. Whether the contention comes in the home or in civil government or work, the bottom motivator is PRIDE. Pride causes contention. Pride causes strife. Pride causes the civil wars/riots in our streets. Think about it....The Vietnam CONFLICT! Conflict??
All conflict is traceable. Proverbs 26:2 - "the curse causeless shall not come." There is an underlying reason for problems and conflict between people. The good thing is that you do not have to be a part. Conflict is not without a cause. Parents having trouble with a wayward child can be traced to a conflict...called pride somewhere.
Conflict arises because we do not want anyone telling us what is right or wrong. A husband who is not willing to take the lead and say, "I know what is right....and then he graciously, kindly, and lovingly leads" will not be a problem-solver; and he can be. A wife who will not follow her husband's lead will create conflict. Children that view their parents in conflict will sense the conflict and will soon withdraw and not trust even the parents for leadership
Pride is saying, "I don't like anyone telling me what is right for my life." By nature, we do not like being told what to do, and correction is not something a proud person likes. So, if you ever deal with a PROUD person; you must handle them with careful, gently words and instruction!
WHAT ARE SOME COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICT?
- Using negative solutions to solve negative problems. Problems are negative period!
- Illustration: Going to an important meeting in your workplace and you see a lady carrying a heavy box; but you must hurry to the meeting, and no help is offered to her. This gives an "implicit" message that "I am more important than you...and you probably are not as important as me as my time is important." BE CAREFUL about these kinds of things with your family, your children, your work, your ministry, etc. You might be giving a message like "well, I do things for important people , and you are not one of those important people."
- Remember this: Greatness and wisdom are all in how we look at and care for others and also situations. You should always be about making the other person "look good" and not be condescending or condemning.
- The world is full of pride and strife and problems. YOU do not have to "buy in" to the world's system of treating people in a manner that CHRIST does not treat people
There is a right way and a wrong way to handle negative problems:
1. Take time to diffuse the situation. Never make decisions in the heat of the moment. People make quick, rash decisions that will affect their lives forever in the heat of the moment. Be wise to not do this. Don't quit your job just because you did not agree with how something was handled in the workplace. Time is one of best ways to bring about a positive solution.
2. Adopt the Team Concept. There is an "I" in team. That "I" stands for individual. Individuals make up a team. One bad attitude can hurt the team. One out of order attitude can create strife in the team. Wisdom---- Decide that you will be a part of the solution, not the problem. If you hire people in the workplace - hire someone that are problem-solvers, not problem makers. Go a little deeper --- Conflict always involves COMMUNICATION!!! Conflict arises in relationships because people fail to properly prepare to communicate. If you ever have to correct someone in the workplace, next time do it by preparing and asking God for wisdom.
ONE INGREDIENT MISSING IN TODAY'S SOCIETY.....Diplomacy!!!! It is called TACT. Tact is a learned skill of handling difficult or delicate situations with the attitude, "I am going to treat that person the very way I want to be treated." This alone will handle a majority of conflicts and problems!
God bless you and may you be exhorted to put these principles of LIFE in action. Why? Because believers can be the difference in the world!
Caring for you,